Tag Archives: Strange people

Where are the keys?

It was the craziest week-end. Let me explain. I had a closing on a house. The sellers were going to stay in the home an extra day to get moved into their new home. They had until midnight Sat. to get moved out. They were pretty much completed by lunch time because I stopped by to check on the progress. The other agent said he would call and let me know the time. About 9 p.m. I called to see if they were out. He replied, they were out, but we could not have keys until midnight. WHAT! I called Sylvia and off we went to search for keys. We searched all the usual hiding places, under rocks, mats, electrical boxes, the obvious lock box…nothing. We waited…..and waited for him to call. It was as if we were on a police stakeout; sitting in the car with the lights out, hiding just out of sight. Waiting for the “perp” to show. One slight difference, we had Starbucks instead of Dunkin Donut’s.

While on the stakeout, I told Sylvia about my experience with God. The night I jumped on the bed and all. She replied with a weird comment. She said she doesn’t have to do anything to be a Christian because she was born a Catholic. What does that mean? What’s the difference? I thought the Bible says, believe in your heart and confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord. I didn’t know some got in just by being born.

Midnight rolls around and the agent did call and explain the keys were hidden in the front yard…..someplace. It was up to me to figure out where…click. What a jerk! So here we were in the middle of the night with flash lights in the front yard of a vacant home, searching for keys. We were crawling around on hands and knees looking for recently overturned soil. Just like on Law & Order. I should save this story for the happy hour crowd….you remember the game…CCC (Crazy client competition). We did find the keys after several hours of searching. They were tossed in the shrubs along the road.

Important to Remember: Never to drink coffee on a stakeout.

P.S. I would like to take the time to apologize to a friend Rosie and the Butcher who I might have offended. I do not consider you a religious person, nor was it my intent to upset you. If you are upset please accept my apology.

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People I meet.

Met with clients yesterday to show houses. I come across the strangest couple dynamics. You wonder, how did they ever get together? When I met this couple (in their 50’s) I thought, “Some gene pools should not be reproduced”. The man was a total control freak. Hard business nose type. I bet they have a huge bill to the psychologist for the kids. He did not even give his shirt permission to wrinkle or show sweat. Had to know every detail about every house. I am sure he had NO idea what I was talking about. The man just wanted to feel like he was in control of the situation. Having more information made him feel like he is in control. But was he really?

Mama bear wanted certain features in the home and papa bear would not agree to spend his hard earned money for conveniences. I reminded him, Rule number one“ Keep Mama happy and everyone is happy”. He must not have been paying attention to me because I left them alone to talk and the next thing I know she is lying on the floor, face down, flopping around like a fish out of water screaming and kicking about getting what she wanted. I am not kidding! She was about 50 years old! I never saw any women react so passionately about a dishwasher before. WOW.
She gets a “10” from the judges on originality and performance. It didn’t seem weird to them that she was on the floor kicking her hands and feet. He finally agreed and she got up. As she stood up, for just an instant, we made eye contact, there was a twinkle in her and she smiled. He never noticed. They wrote a contract on the house and we went home. As we parted I gave her a hug, strangely I was not afraid. She was the Einstein of negotiation. Just to have been in her presence was inspiring. I thought to myself, “ a woman’s got to do what a woman’s got to do!” You go sister!

I don’t think Jake would buy that routine. ……Maybe……it would have to be at the right time and place…..timing is everything. Do you think that routine would work with God. Maybe that’s prayer? Seems like that is what people do…they just beg God for dishwashers, new cars, jobs..etc. Hummm, maybe when Jake leaves for work tomorrow I’ll try it. What do you think Annie? It worked for my client and he was a bad___. I don’t want to be struck with lightening or anything but, I do want a job and a better marriage. And a job is more important than a dishwasher. Maybe not. I haven’t really talked to the “big guy” in years so might not be the best method of negotiation with the boss you’ve only visited once a decade. I have tried everything to get a job, short of selling myself and I don’t think Jake would tolerate it.

Need to get out and do the treadmill-dance so I will be in better shape on Sunday! Don’t want to hear… no mo talk bout me not-n-shape! Girls prepare to run the race! Are you up for the challenge?